You know this New Testament gospel is kind of difficult to really figure out. Or maybe it's just hard to put into words. I would say that I have experienced forgiveness and mercy and am, at some level, following Christ. However, there is this constant battle between assigning worth to my existence by way of standing strong against temptation, and then the idea that I am not at all defined by my own discipline but rather by God's mercy. Specifically, I would like to express some, likely, controversial ideas about forgiveness. If a friend has an affair, giving in to temptation and momentarily putting aside his or her faith, I am disappointed and hurt by his or her actions. It is like a fellow soldier has betrayed the fight. While forgiveness is readily available from our heavenly Father, due to His ability to see the heart directly, it comes more slowly from me because I have to deal with all the feelings and emotions while trying to discern my friends heart. I suppose I feel a need to hear some kind of confession of wrong doing or see evidence of a contrite spirit. Nothing too elaborate just a sentence or two explaining his or her understanding of wrong doing and a request for forgiveness. God's forgiveness will see my friend into heaven, but my lack of forgiveness may hamper our relationship here on earth. We may, in fact, continue our pursuit of faith, in different directions, though a legitimate pursuit both would be. But the better outcome would be to offer forgiveness to a friend and continue on this pursuit together. Encouraging, helping and holding one another accountable as before. It's quite possible that I am exposing a very selfish point of view here, but I do not subscribe to the idea that forgiveness can be a one way street. Throughout the gospel we are compelled to take action, on the knowledge of our sinfulness, and come to Christ for forgiveness. If one wants to suggest forgiving someone who has died then I might see a place for that. For letting go of a sin or wrong doing whose source is no longer able to express sorrow for their actions. But how can a sin that has not been acknowledged be forgiven? How can a gift that remains in your closet on Christmas day be opened? Again, the forgiveness that offers eternal life comes from God the Father, so if I do not perceive, or become aware of, ones sorrow for their actions, and therefore, do not have the opportunity to offer my personal forgiveness, it is of temporary concern, and will not impact the salvation of either person. While we are commanded to forgive, as we have been forgiven, again this implies the admission of guilt. My forgiveness came through such an admission. I'm thinking this blog may not make the cut. This subject needs much more time to develop. Nevertheless, maybe it will give you something to think about, or get mad about and form your own ideas of why I'm all wet. Don't worry, if you confess the bad thoughts you are having about me, I will forgive you.
