Well, I suppose I could start out with some common one liners here on our 33rd anniversary. Like, "it's been 12 of the happiest years of my life". That's usually good for a laugh or two. If I may, I would like to take a more serious tact, though not a fully dissimilar treatment of the subject. That is, to be honest, it has not been one incredibly exciting and fun-filled year after another. While my wife and I do not agree on everything, I'm sure that last statement would hold true for the both of us. There was a time, early on in our married life that my head was full of positive, storybook sorts of notions about being married. So that any females who read this won't be disappointed and can continue believing all men are the same, yes, a big part of my expectations centered around physical intimacy. Sometime, when we know each other better I may share more on that subject. Children, a house, doing things together, all seemed like a natural outcome of our relationship, and to a degree, certainly was. But besides the personal differences in child raising techniques and the different perspectives on some issues that always arise there is the "wild card" of not knowing what type of children you will have. That is to say, what personality traits they may exhibit etc. The progression from happily ever after to, "seems like something may be amiss here", to, "somebody wake me up, I'm having a nightmare", can be a long and painful one. You go from this looks like the start of a good thing, to when will this be over. You go from holding on to your hopes for the future to not wanting to know what's in it. The most common title for our daughters behaviour would be rebellious. I don't know if that still means what it use to or not, or if it further reveals my "old world" view, but that is the briefest way to get the idea across. I went from believing all those love songs about break-ups that left peoples hearts in pieces, to understanding that those songs are simply a marketing ploy and a real broken heart can only be delivered by a daughter. It's a good thing that what I'm about to say sounds clichéd because that means there are others looking to the right place too. Without my faith I believe my world would have collapsed. More specifically, without God making Himself known to me throughout this time I wouldn't have made it. Sometimes He used my own mouth to get His point across. One day, eating lunch with my daughter, who was living in what could only be described as a drug house, (though I'm sure there are other names for them), I delivered a message that was ostensibly from God. I informed her that she may succeed in pushing her mother and I away at some point because we had limited resources, but that God would pursue her like a lion pursues his prey. Not sure anyone was really listening as I nervously delivered that bit of information. A week or so later, or maybe just a couple of days, I'm not really sure. I was out on the deck looking up at the stars after getting home from my second shift job. While gazing up at the stars there came this very conspicuous echo from that earlier conversation. The echo was God's original intent. I was pushing God away, albeit in a much more subtle way than my daughter, but pushing nevertheless. Why was God allowing this difficult time in our lives? I really didn't get it and so I began pushing and pushing and pushing. "Bert, you cannot run away from me, your legs will not carry you far enough or fast enough, I will pursue you like a lion pursues his prey". Salt water began to miraculously appear on my face. (ok, it wasn't a miracle) I will never forget hearing that echo nor the Saviour who so lovingly and effectively brought it to me.
As I started to work today, I asked God to be with my wife, my daughter, my son and my granddaughter. Truly blessed am I on this my 33rd wedding anniversary.
