It appears the 54 year old man of the house is the first one up on this Christmas morning.5:50 am. Not all that early but last year we waited til 10 o'clock for our granddaughter to rise and shine. And I do mean shine. I was lying there in bed with thoughts careening from one guard rail to the other. All over the map as it were, but I settled on a re-occurring theme for the subject this morning. On my recent trip to Texas to visit my friend who had had major surgery I was alone in the car for several hours. If you were to analyze the trip from an emotional standpoint it would have to be considered one riddled with schizophrenia. Putting emotions in a can to be dealt with at a latter time is one of my specialties. Let's just say that, when alone, the can sometimes becomes a bit unruly. It was a little bazaar to be honest. I would be singing along with a song on the car stereo. I mean, singing loud, playing drums on the dashboard, using my girly voice from time to time as needed. Just really "letting 'er rip" as it were. Then a few words of the song, the can opener, would send me into a fit of grief and sorrow. Tears would accompany me for a shot time as well as a clinched jaw and the quick application of a Kleenex to the nose. After winning the battle over this physiological sneak attack I was right back at my rather impressive musical performance. Usually having to force the next few lines of lyrics out before the song could begin to be recognizable again. For whatever reason, this morning, along with other disjointed thoughts, that trip kept coming to mind. That seems to be a microcosm of my life. Without a song to sing, I believe life would be immeasurably more difficult. Without a focus of something positive and good, I'm not sure where I would turn. Of course for me, Jesus is my song. He is what gives me strength to move through times of grief without self destructing or becoming an emotional basket case as it were. I really don't deal with death all that well. God knows, and I mean, God literally knows, that I'm not happy about those he has taken from me. As selfish as that sounds it is quite accurate. And yet, it is His love and mercy which is at the center of my ability to deal with grief and move beyond it. He has conquered death and gives us hope. He has conquered life as well, and gives us Hope. Answers come slowly and imperfectly here in this troubled world, but ultimately, for me, as Andre Crouch so beautifully penned it, "Jesus is the Answer", So when the answer is beyond my reach I cling ever tighter to The Answer. I hope on this Christmas morning you have a song to sing. And if you don't I know the best songwriter ever who has written a song just for you. A song that starts out with "God so loved the world that He gave His only Son". This could be your song too. Maybe we could work out a harmony on it sometime. That would be great indeed!
