I'm going to suggest that technology and societal changes have greatly impacted our definition of what a friend is. That is to say, the interaction between those people who consider themselves friends. Remember, this is a blog, not a scientific journal with experts offering opinions and insight on these subjects. This is a reasonable expression of my understanding of things and thus is quite limited in scope and resource. Though I am 54 years old now so I suppose that counts for something. Me writing about friendship is like Martina Navratilova writing about LaCrosse. (with my luck she's an expert on the subject, but you get where I'm coming from) My Grandma Gale, for 50 some years sent wallpaper valentines to a friend. I believe they were in school together and kept in touch all those years. They would fashion valentines, complete with verse, and send them, one to the other, every year. This strikes me as a real act of friendship. After her death I began composing such valentines for my immediate family, using the sample wallpaper book that she had used. This continued for 6 or 7 years after which I decided to quit doing it. I guess exchanging gifts, frequent calls and the sharing of personal struggles would come under the category of "traditional friendship". Many more words could be used but this is a glimpse of what friendship seemed to be about to me.
Fast forward to today. Please know that the word fast would have earned the capitol letter even if were not starting a sentence. Time indeed flies. When I look at my relationships. When I consider how I relate to those I think of as friends there is a conspicuous absence of the behaviour that defines traditional friendship. This bring me waves of guilt which eventually pass for a time only to resurface. My friendships are not characterized by frequent calls or heart to heart talks, or home made greeting cards. In fact, one of my best friends only hears from me when I have car trouble. He's an outstanding mechanic. Only recently have I begun running again, with a friend who, outside of occasional conversation at church, had not been a focus of any real effort to "stay in touch". Guess I'm rambling a bit but this bugs me. When I call my friend with a car problem we may talk for an hour. When I run with my friend I, very much, enjoy the conversation and there is a quiet, though substantial, encouragement from our time together. These people, and many others I call friends, fulfill a basic need in my life that I believe friendships have always fulfilled and that is simply to be there. I suppose I don't need the constant reminders of their friendship, nor do I suppose I would reciprocate if the cards and letters began pouring in, (though I would likely be visited by a wave of guilt). But my life is blessed by those I know I can count on in a time of need and I hope they understand I would be there for them as well.
On a lighter note, I will try to scare up a picture for this entry. They seem to be popular with me. I've begun visiting this site a lot more since I put pictures on it.
PS Below, please find attached to this blog, a verse I wrote for one of the valentines I buit during the valentine building stage of my life. I haven't picked it yet so you'll have to figure out which family member it was for on your own. Think of it as a brain teaser.
MY DAUGHTER'S DAUGHTER
My daughter's daughter is four should anyone ask
bringing more of God's blessing as each day goes past
Lending dance to the music from my voice and guitar
this four year old lifts my heart to the stars
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My daughter's daughter has mastered the art of talk
and she's Papa and Nana's two legged alarm clock
“What's this” and “what's that” and 'why is it so?”
“ I need to know Papa, what makes it go?”
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So my daughter's daughter is racing through her childhood
and I'd race with her if only I could
But I can't so I leave her with my Heavenly Father
and thank Him each day that she's my daughter's daughter
